one-one-one,one

Our New Year didn't start out with a bang but more of a sputter, sputter fizz! I will explain.

At ten minutes after midnight, we were sitting in our warm living room, fitted out in sweaters and sweats and cuddled up in our chairs. The ball dropped in Time Square as we toasted to the new year with champagne-like liquid (actually it was Raspberry Sparkletina by Verdi- very good, fruity and bubbly- and inexpensive!) when Andy said "Lets go to the IHOP for breakfast." "Right now?" I asked.

Actually, I was ready to go to bed but he really wanted to do a little celebrating so I said "OK, but I will need to change clothes." Changing clothes included a little make up, a little hairspray and whatever else I could do to make myself presentable.

Off we went in spite of my worries about a) deer on the road, b) drunk drivers on the road and c) me falling asleep on the road. None of those things came to be, so it was all good.

As we drove the 25 minute trip to Danville (the closest IHOP), we noticed 4-5 churches who were, obviously, holding midnight New Years Eve service. The doors were open, people streaming out, cars pulling away from the parking lot. We didn't know it then, but they were all headed for, you guessed it, IHOP.

As we approached the IHOP, cars were circling the restaurant like sharks circling their prey. We joined in the line of cars and after a few trips around, we found a parking place. We literally ran, as fast as our four old legs could run, through the doors. Inside was chaos. People crammed like sardines with more coming in.

Andy went ahead to sign the waiting list. "45 minutes" he said on return. "Maybe it will go fast," he said hopefully.

A voice to my left said "Y'all been out dancin'?"

I honestly turned to look back over my shoulder to see who she was shouting at, and it turned out to be me.

"Oh, no, we were at home in Martinsville watching the ball drop and thought this would be a good idea" I said

"So, Y'all didn't go dancin'?" she asked again.

"No" I repeated, her breath was 90 proof and her eyes a little bloodshot.

"Martinsville, Huh? I live in Martinsville too" she continued. "I live on Pissed Off Lane-where everyone who lives there is pissed off!" (sorry dear readers, I usually never cuss in my blog, but that is what she said.) I was sure there was no street in Martinsville by that name and I am now getting dizzy from her breath fumes. She is getting obnoxious, I cannot move and things are getting tighter in the little entry area.

Her friend, with a stack of Hawaiian leis around her neck, joined in with "We need to go to the Huddle House or the Waffle House or somewhere else."

I was hoping they could get a cup of coffee before they drove anywhere.

They left, arguing about their next stop and Andy and I fell into conversations with some of the others standing and waiting for a table to open up. Our 45 minutes stretched to an hour. We started noticing that people sitting in the dining rooms had no food in front of them. Not a pancake or omlet in sight. Not even a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity! They had water but no food. There was one waiter per 30 people! Apparently, the restaurant staff had all gotten sick, or some kind of mass walkout had occurred. They were very, very short handed on New Years Eve.

The Manager locked the front door, telling folks that if they were not on the list, it would be a very long time until they could be served. She said again, "A very long time." This was not a good sign of things to come.

I looked at Andy and said " If you are hungry, I will fix you some eggs and sausage at home!" He said "Lets go!"

That was our big exciting 1-1-11. Hope yours was just as interesting.